My Birth Story!

I feel like I haven't been on a computer for forever, and it's only been one week! I've officially turned into my father who only checks his his personal (and AOL) account every few days. But the reason is because....I had the baby!!! McBaby can now be referred to as Clive Toby McBride! He was born a few days early on 4/4/12 after I was induced for low fluids. As you know, this is something that plagued me towards the end of my pregnancy, and when I went to that final doctor's appointment, she told us to pack our bags and head straight to the hospital.

Because I'd been dealing with the low fluids issue for weeks, I wasn't alarmed in the slightest that doc sent us packing. But I had no idea what was in store for me in the following 24 hours. We got to the hospital about two hours prior to "shift-change" and I loved our nurse Anna from the first minute. She got me hooked up to an IV and a few other things, and then left for the night, replaced by the equally awesome Lillit, our night nurse. A fellow then came in to insert a ribbon into me to help soften up my cervix, which stayed in place for 12 hours while they watched me and the baby on a fetal monitor. This was the calm before the storm for sure--with the only interruptions being the screams in the middle of the night from my neighboring women who decided against the epidural (which in turn made me want one even more).

The next morning my cervix was deemed ready, so they started the petocin. That jump started my contractions pretty quickly, which Clive did NOT like in the slightest. He "de-celled" a total of four times in the next few hours, meaning his heart rate dipped down to around 50 BPM due to him cutting off his own circulation by pressing on his umbilical cord. Each time a dozen nurses and doctors would bust into the room and yell a bunch of things, and twice they threw an oxygen mask on me, which was the scariest thing ever. Nothing can prepare you for the look in the doctors' eyes when you just know something is wrong. Thankfully each time, little Clive was resilient and recovered.

My contractions got increasingly more intense, and by 10am the docs inserted a foley balloon catheter to get me more dilated. In the meantime, about once an hour, someone's entire fist was up inside me "checking my cervix," which is something I care not to discuss any further. The next drama was my infamous 3-AND-A-HALF-MINUTE CONTRACTION. I hadn't gotten my epidural yet, and had been "breathing" through each one up to this point. But girlfriend can only take so much, and that had to have been the longest 3+ minutes of my life. Clive hated this pain as well, and they decided my body was going through too much stress. My doctor showed up to the hospital at this point, explaining that she was going to break my water and do an amnio infusion to pump me back up with saline to keep the baby safe. After I mentioned how painful that sounded, she looked shocked when I told her I hadn't gotten the epidural yet, and said simply, "It's time."

That part was a cinch, and does NOT hurt, for those of you wondering. After the epidural, you could have sawed off my feet and I wouldn't have noticed. It also didn't "slow down" my labor, which is what everyone says; I went from 6 centimeters to 10 in a matter of two hours. This is when I finally got nervous--getting wheeled into delivery. I couldn't feel a thing, but the thought of having an actual human come out of me was really starting to scare me.

There was zero time to process any more thoughts though, because it was time to start pushing right away. Kev took one leg, and Lillit took another because I was that numb in my legs that I couldn't hold them up. My doctor also ordered for the epidural to be "cut in half" so that I could start "feeling" a little more--talk about a motivator to get the baby out. I pushed like a total maniac. After ten minutes, I casually asked how long it usually takes for a first-time mom and my doctor replied, "Oh...2 to 3 hours." The competitor in me uttered a helllll no, and I pushed even harder for about 30 more minutes.

Next thing I knew, I was in stirrups, the doctor was suited up in her protective gear, and she was telling me I'd have a baby on the next push. She was right! Clive arrived and was placed right onto my chest, where we both had a major bawl fest. I'm so glad I did the "skin-to-skin" right after delivery because it was a great distraction from everything else happening down there. I won't gross you out with the details, but just google "afterbirth" and "placenta" if you're really curious as to what happens after the baby is born.

That moment at 7:57pm on 4/4/12 has to be the most amazing, emotional, surreal and miraculous moment of my life. It's hard to put into words, but it's like reading the last page of the best book you've ever read. You want to keep reliving it over and over, and any pain you endured getting to that point just does not matter. Clive Toby McBride weighed 7 lbs. even, was 19 3/4 inches long, and more perfect than we could have ever dreamed. And yes, I'm definitely going to do this again.

Self Inducing Labor Doesn't Work

The last couple of weeks have been a real....doozy. I've been in and out of doctor's appointments for numerous reasons, all for the end result to be: Yeah, we're gonna give it a few more days. It all started about 6 weeks ago when my doctor told me my fluids were low and I was sent over to a perinatologist (who looks like a live Ken doll) for a second look. He basically told me to just keep on truckin, but to make sure I was drinking enough water. For the record, I probably drink about 2 gallons a day because I'm constantly thirsty due to working out or just being on the go.

Then this past week I went in again, and my doc informed me my fluids had dipped pretty significantly, and sent me back to the perinatologist, also warning me that they might induce. This made me gasp since I hadn't yet made it to the remaining mandatory appointments before McBaby's arrival--hair, bikini wax, nails. Luckily, Ken checked me out, put me on a fetal heart moniter, and said I was still good to go....at least for a few more days. He mentioned my placenta was "mature," and that McBaby was still on the tiny side, so it was doubtful they'd keep me pregnancy past my due date.

Well, this kicked my ass into high gear. I successfully made it to all my appointments, and even wrapped up everything I possibly could at work. But instead of feeling satisfied and ready to take a breather and relax for a couple days, I've been the opposite--which brings me to present tense. I decided on April Fool's Day to commence Operation Evict McBaby. I've read every old wives' tale, and tried most: prenatal massage, spicy food, long walks, exercise, sex, you name it. The only thing I'm not into testing out is the castor oil remedy. But Nothing. Has. Worked.

It's like my baby is laughing at me for even attempting to make him do something he's by no means ready to do. As far as he's concerned, he's perfectly content remaining in the dark, warm, shallow bath I've created for him in my uterus. Maybe this means he'll be a good swimmer? I go back in today to get checked out, and who knows! Perhaps this time they'll decide it's induction day, and the next post I write will be when I'm a mommy!

What I take away from these last few weeks of pregnancy is that it's not up to me to decide what McBaby's birthday is. It's his decision...at least until some Pitocin decides it for the both of us.

What to Expect from Birthing Class

Everything you think would happen during a hospital birthing class...happens. And yes, that means the screening of the real-life childbirth video, starring the woman with the 70s-style bush. Other things happen, but I wanted to warn you about that first and foremost. There's nothing more awkward than sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers all staring at a woman's gaping vagina that's covered in a thick bloody shag. I'll let you barf up your lunch and return to that later.

Now to the positive parts. My husband and I chose the expedited birthing class at our hospital because we both work full-time and could only really squeeze in a few hours on a Saturday anyway. (Sidenote--I get the Worst Wife Ever award for signing us up on St. Patrick's Day...whoops.)

Most of the people in the room seemed like totally normal couples who were excited about welcoming their first born into the world. But of course there's always a couple assholes who ruin everything, and in this case, it was the "water birth couple." These two were pretty irritating, saying condescending things out loud like, "Oh no, we'd neverrrrrr do an epidural." But hey, it's her loss. Like my aunt who's a maternity ward nurse says: "They're not giving out any awards at the hospital for women who opt out of the epidural."

During the 6-hour class, we learned things like the right way to breathe (and no-that "hee-hee-hee-hoo-hoo-hoo" was not even discussed), when to go to the hospital without getting turned away for being too eager and early, and pain medication options once we got to the hospital (aka the magical "E" word). Our instructor was a lovely woman who kept stressing to the guys the importance of how to STFU during our labor pains and not to say anything that would warrant a slap in the face like, "Honey, keep in mind...women have been doing this for centuries!"

She also taught the men how to massage us while we pretty much all lounged around on the floor like beached whales eating Triscuits (What?! They told us to bring snacks!) And I didn't notice until the last horror movie (there were 4 in total), that the instructor kept leaving the classroom every time she pressed play! She'd set us up real quick and say something like, "Now you're going to witness a woman who chooses to do a natural birth," and then she'd be out the door in a flash. You'd think a woman teaching a childbirth class would be cool with seeing a few vag shots. But I suppose she's pretty scarred by the vids at this point, and knows better to just leave us all in the dark wishing we were anywhere but there.

I tried to look away during scene of the hairy monster expelling a small, and also hairy, head out of it's hole, but it's one of those things that sucks you back in no matter how hard to try to avoid it. And the weirdest part is the wide range of emotions these videos take you through. In the beginning, you're just sitting there judging the mother in the video's outfit choice upon arrival to the hospital. By the birth scene, you're ready to vomit anything in your stomach, and 3 seconds later when that little baby is sitting on the mother's chest as she cries tears of happiness, you're bawling with her! And right on cue, that's when the instructor walks back in and flicks on the fluorescent lights.

All in all though, I am really glad we went. If anything I learned some really random things I didn't know--like to take a freaking shower and blow dry my hair when I start feeling contractions because it's gonna be awhile, to wear cozy socks during labor once at the hospital, and most importantly, to be hairless during birth. You never know what could be caught on camera that day.

Why Pregnant Women Waddle

Whenever someone imitates a pregnant woman, they waddle...right?? I swore up and down I would do anything in my power to avoid the penguin walk in pregnancy, but alas, even I have succumbed. It's just so much more comfortable than walking like a normal person, and now I can tell you exactly why that is (from a highly scientific standpoint of course).

Extremely pregnant chicks don't just waddle because they're "fat"-- there are a plethora of other factors that contribute to this. In my case, I started waddling right around the 34-week marker because of intense back pain 24-7. This was of course bound to happen given the fact that I'm 5'3" and about a buck-20 when un-knocked-up, and those extra 25 pounds sitting like a concrete block in my stomach finally won the fight.

Then, out of the blue during week 35, I woke up to the feeling I'd been overusing the thigh master. I figured this was due to a bar method class or extra long walk the day prior, but no. This groin pain was (and is) here to stay. It hurts most when I'm walking (hence the waddling) and/or moving anything heavier than a feather.

Lastly, it is the belly that makes us waddle. The baby drops pretty significantly in the final month of pregnancy, to the point that if I walk for too long, I actually feel like some part of the baby is coming out. It's like holding a watermelon under your shirt with one hand--pretty soon that ish is gonna get heavy!

There you have it--I wanted to make it clear that several factors contribute to this super sexy style of walking we preggos inevitably yield to. So the next time you see one of us in public, do us a favor and just smile--and wipe that "I'm sorry" look off your face, especially if you're a dude. Tell us we're amazing superhuman adonis creatures whom you greatly admire and could never do what we're doing in a million years--unless you're that creepy pregnant dude Thomas Beatie from Oprah.

Showered Beyond Belief

And I thought getting married was cool. Man was I wrong! When you're knocked up, people love to throw you showers! I also happen to have really really cool family and friends--like the kind people should be envious of--they're so amazing. I hate when people use the phrase "I'm so blessed" because I feel like it's a highly overused saying, but when you have Monica-Rachel-Phoebe style relationships in real life, it's hard not to get gushy.

Two weekends ago, my three best friends on the west coast threw me an amazing Mustache Bash baby shower, which was perfection seeing as though I'm convinced my baby is going to come out with handlebars, and monacle, and three-piece suit. It was such an amazing day, and I enjoyed every minute of it--including the 2 hours I spent getting ready, knowing it would be one of the last times I touched a curling iron for awhile...

This past weekend concluded shower season for McBaby. My fourth and final shower was held at the place my husband got married almost two years ago--Shade Hotel in Manhattan Beach. My Bar Method boss threw the "sprinkling" for me and my co-worker Dayna, also expecting a boy. As we were opening gifts, my boss got emotional and I had to ask her why. She went on to say there's nothing like experiencing the birth of your first child. Seeing her reaction really made me think--WOW. There's seriously no way for me to prepare for what's going to happen in about one month.

A lot of people have been asking me if I'm scared of labor, and honestly I'm not. I'm sure it's because I haven't even been through it, and don't know any better. But I figure there's no point in stressing about something I literally have zero control over. My two aunts who are nurses have stressed the importance of getting an epidural, because as they've told me, "They're not giving out any awards at the hospital for the women who pass on drugs." So that's also calmed my nerves big time--knowing there is relief at some point.

My general attitude at this point is excitement--over everything. First and foremost to be able to hold someone who needs no one else but me and his daddy in this whole world. A close second on the excitement scale is the fact that this incessant back pain apparently goes away like magic instantly after birth. I'm also pretty stoked to wear pants that I don't have to pull up to my boobs, and that have a zipper and button closure. Oh, and not to have to pee a trickle every 20 minutes.

But mostly my days are spent thinking about my little guy who is just a few short weeks from entering the world and making us an official family! 34 days til my due date and Easter Sunday...and I used to think Lent was a long time...Psssshhh.

Working Out While Pregnant (W.O.W.P.)

I highly recommend working out throughout your entire pregnancy (provided your doctor

gives you the green light of course). I’m now 5 weeks away from delivering, and have

maintained a healthy a steady workout routine this whole time, while slowly tweaking

and modifying as I get bigger and bigger.

When you think of pregnancy-friendly workouts, you think prenatal yoga right? I

definitely did, except the only problem with these classes is that they’re impossible to

find! I did locate a few place that offer pre-natal yoga, but the times are like mid-morning

on weekdays. Not sure what demo can actually make those classes besides stay-at-home

moms with kids who are already in school.

My advice? Don’t stress too much about the class being pre-natal—most workout classes

these day require their instructors to become proficient in prenatal training—or at least

be knowledgable about the modifications. Trust me—I am one! Most of the big no-

no’s when pregnant (especially once you’ve hit the second trimester and are starting to

show) are: traditional pushups (these can be modified against a bar or wall), abs (if you’re

comfy enough to get down on your back, use back support propping!!!), which are kind

of pointless besides working on your deep breaths, and twisting (this could affect the

sacroiliac joint, which tends to move during pregnancy).

Here are my favorite workouts during pregnancy:

1. Bar Method: I’m an instructor, so of course I love it! But even if I wasn’t, I’d be

singing Bar’s praises. It’s the only thing I’ve consistently been able to do this

whole time. Note: After your 16th week, it’s smart to leave class halfway through

(you’ll have already hit arms, quads, calves, and butt), and they’ll let you pay half

price for doing so! It’s super low-impact, and keeps your arms, legs and booty

sculpted. Might as well focus on those body parts since you have no control over

your tummy! Barmethod.com

2. Yoga: There’s nothing like yoga to open up your hips (something we women deal

with whether pregnant or not), and train your body to breathe. Just my opinion,

but I’d steer clear of hot yoga classes while pregnant, and focus more on flow

classes, and in the third tri doing more stretch-based sessions like a yin relaxation

class.

3. Walking: Such a simple activity, but there’s nothing like getting your legs moving

that helps with blood flow, loosening of joints, and sleep! Believe it or not a

30 minute walk could make you sleep better. Staying sedentary isn’t good for

anyone—even a pregnant woman (unless you’ve been instructed to be on bed rest

by your doctor). Warning—it does get harder and harder as you get bigger, so

don’t worry about proving yourself. Hills are now out for me, as is walking more

than 20 minutes at a time. And I used to run marathons…

For me, I’ve just focused more on listening to my body than anything else. My first

trimester was a puke-fest, so my workouts suffered. But ever since week 18, I’ve stayed

consistent, and I’m hoping it’ll not only help me bounce back to my old self, but give my

little one a jump start on being healthy and active.

Babymoon: Necessary or Ridiculous?

If you ask your mother what she thinks about having a "babymoon," she'd probably either A. ask what the hell that even is, or B. launch into a long-winded explanation of how her generation never had any of that fun stuff. If you're my mom, the latter also leads into the conversation about how "tight" maternity wear is these days, and that women in her day had to suffer under tent-like muumuus with oversized buttons and sailor collars. My mother loves comparing my pregnancy to hers, and finds any possible way to point out how lucky I am in "this day and age."

Back to the question of the day--to babymoon or not to babymoon? My husband and I definitely wanted to do something special together before the baby comes, and I have to admit that early on in my pregnancy a lush hotel stay out of town sounded like a dream. But we waited until the 3rd trimester to get our acts together, and now the only thing I want to do is bathe in icy hot all day and eat whipped cream from the bottle. Even a drive up to an LA hotel (less than an hour) sounded miserable, so we decided on an ultimate stay-cation in our hometown of Manhattan Beach.

Rather than waste money on an expensive hotel, we booked couple's massages at a local spa called Trilogy that's walkable from our house. We happen to have 3 friends who work there too, and they totally hooked us up with VIP treatment, reserving us a cabana post-massages, and bought us champagne, sparkling cider and a little celebratory cake! We spent the whole day there, and then showered and walked two blocks down to a restaurant we'd been wanting to try out forever, Manhattan Beach Post. The next day we ventured out to Beverly Hills to Helen Ficalora to get a charm with the baby's initial on it to add to my favorite necklace from Kevin (the first gift he ever got me). We followed that up with a total touristy lunch at Villa Blanca owned by Real Housewife Lisa Vanderpump.

It was one of the best weekends we'd had in awhile! We'd been so focused on McBaby for the last few months that it was nice to actually pamper ourselves guilt-free (for probably the last time in awhile). Sure the topic of convo that whole weekend was predominantly baby, but who can help that?! We're excited! So in conclusion, I'm a total proponent of the babymoon. You and your husband can decide what's right for you guys--whether it means booking a full-on last vacay to Hawaii, or just going out for a nice dinner. It's about taking a step back and appreciating one another one last time before your twosome becomes a threesome.

Happy babymoonin!

Where To Find Good Maternity Clothes!

If there's something I could change about the 10 months of being pregnant, it would be maternity fashion. Holy crap it's awful. I was under the false impression that every department store, designer and even low-end retailer had finally gotten with the program and created a simple yet fashionable line for us pregos, but that my friends is false.

I have been able to find some maternity wear that's acceptable, but it hasn't been without struggle--and I live in Los Angeles. I feel for these poor women living in places where they're forced to only wear Liz Lange for Target, and even worse...Old Navy. Before I totally bash the two aforementioned chains, I must admit I've gotten some pretty clutch staples from each of them. But that's about it--staples. There are only so many days in a row you can wear the same black maternity leggings and striped tunic. Sometimes even we pregos want to look "cute."

So to avoid turning this into a total bitch-fest about how slim the pickins really are for us, I'm breaking down where you can actually find some decent maternity clothes that won't make you look like you're the size of a house.

Forever 21

This was an obvious for me, seeing as though it's my favorite store when I'm not pregnant. Plus(again, a pro for living in a big city), mine has a decent maternity section filled with not only basics but on-trend pieces too.

What to buy: SKINNY JEANS! I wish I'd gotten more here. Unlike other maternity jeans with the massive attached belly band that slowly fall down throughout the day giving you saggy crotch syndrome, Forever's jeans have a cotton band that goes under your stomach, and the fit is better than the J Brands I spent 4 times as much on.

What to skip: Blousy tops. Flirty and feminine may be in right now, but these shirts tend to make me look bigger than I am--not really the look I'm going for these days.

Destination Maternity

This has been my ultimate go-to for tunic shirts. I love the ones by Pea In The Pod because they have ruching on the sides--an absolute must for a snug fit that shows off your actual shape while pregnant. Don't get me wrong, "Dest Mat" (as my bestie calls it) is chock full of horrendous other printed catastropies, but stick with their solid and striped tunics and pairing with leggings for a super cute day-t0-day look.

What to buy: Tops and maternity tights.

What to skip: The J Brand skinny jeans and the Pea In The Pod leggings they'll try and sell you on the minute you walk in. They're loose by the second wear, and more importantly, see-through!

Asos.com

I'd never actually ordered anything from this UK-based site until becoming pregnant. They have a more than decent maternity section, and they ship for free! I've wanted to order more from here, and the only reason I haven't is because they do have a lot of things I feel I could get here at a Target for way cheaper. So I've utilized this site for all my semi-formal to formal wear. You can order everything in US sizes, and the trick is to order the size you would in normal life!

What to buy: "Occasion dresses" for weddings, dates, and your baby shower! Here's one I just got!

What to skip: The striped tunic tops that you can get for the same price or cheaper at Target/Dest Mat and actually try on in person.

Target

I avoided Target's maternity section like the plague for months for obvious reasons, but finally succumbed one day after feeling the "Be Maternity" wear they carry. I'm borderline obsessed with the camis and leggings. But word to the wise, they're see-through, so don't make the mistake of pairing with anything but a long top that covers the bootie.

What to buy: Anything "Be Maternity" and the occasional striped top by Liz Lange.

What to skip: The completely unacceptable jeans and slacks in that department.

Old Navy

Here's another store that should be truly ashamed of their maternity section. I always pop in with high hopes they're might be something cute in there because hey--sometimes that store can surprise you. But no, it's been a huge NO every time.

What to buy: The long ribbed tank tops in their non-maternity section for working out. Go up at least one size. They fit great and are form-fitting so you don't look massive at pre-natal yoga.

What to skip: The entire maternity department.

lululemon

Like most workout addicts, I'm also addicted to lululemon. It's been the only workout clothes brand I buy for the past 4 years. Granted, I am a workout instructor, and they offer us a 15% discount. I have to say, with how progressive the company is, I'm pretty shocked they haven't cashed in on the pre-natal workout wear yet. As someone who lives in my lulus any time I'm not in real people clothes, I'd have happily invested in a couple maternity workout pants. BUT! The positive news is that you can get by with their normal pant styles by just folding them under your belly.

What to buy: The Astro pant. Unlike the slightly bulkier Wunder Under, the Astro hem is thin and smooth and you don't have to go up a size when you're pregnant. They fit amazing even with your growing belly. For tops, steer clear of styles like the Practice Freely Tank that'll make you look bigger, and opt for more form fitting styles like the Cool Racerback that you can pop right back into once you....well...pop!

What to skip: The fitted jackets. They don't look as cute with a belly especially because you can see the lining show through.

Hope you guys like my picks for looking your best while pregnant! It can get super frustrating at times, I know--especially when you're in your eighth month like I am. The key is try everything on and don't be afraid to show your body even as it gets bigger and bigger. You don't want to be one of those women people look at and say..."Is she pregnant...or just fat...."

Happy shopping, fellow preggers!

Ommmmmmm

Greetings. I'm feeling pretty yen this morning as a result of my yin relaxation yoga class I attended (and forced my husband to come with) last night. Let me first kick this blog post off with something I've become great at-complaining. Prenatal yoga classes--has anyone ever been to one of these? I'd sure like to if they weren't all held at the most inopportune times. Seriously, who can make a class at 10:45am on a Wednesday?! And they're all at those annoying stay-at-home mom times. Maybe it's because the places I'm looking are in Manhattan Beach, and we all know none of those women work--that's why they're all so hot--they spend their days working out!

Back to the om. My hubs and I decided to take a smooth ride on the crunchy granola ride and take this yoga class everyone raves about at The Green Yogi in Manhattan Beach. Upon arriving, I pretty much wanted to move in. They have this amazing open air lounge with faux grass and couches where you chill before class. The decor is modern, minimalistic, and very soothing--sure I know that's not the point of signing up for a yoga class but who doesn't appreciate a nice interior, come on.

Matt the instructor is probably the real reason 40 people were crammed into that room. Not only is he completely adorbs, he's able to talk you through all the stretches with calming stories, life lessons and personal jokes so you're not focusing as much on the excruciating pain radiating from all your joints. What I loved the most is the fact that he wasn't too preachy and yoga mastery--he really made it such a pleasant experience. One of my biggest pet peeves about yoga is people who take it super seriously. It's like if someone forbids you from laughing in church, all of a sudden all you can think about is every hysterical scene from Bridesmaids, and you're dead meat.

The music was also perfection. Instead of playing bizarro chants, he played Mumford & Sons and Jack Johnson! The baby kicked his way through the entire hour and a half, and my husband is even talking about when we can go back. This is yoga done right, peeps. Even though I am a little butt hurt about not being able to take any prenatal classes, it's seriously not a big deal as I was able to do 90 percent of the poses with the rest of the class. Highly recommend if you're in the area, so check it out!

The Baby's Room!

When you're pregnant and it's the weekend, there's only so much one can do. In the beginning, before you start assuming the shape of Humpty Dumpty, you can still carry on like normal--go on hikes, runs, bike rides, and even put on a bathing suit and lay out if it's the right time of year. Most of those activities start becoming a little too difficult--and in some pregnancies dangerous, and you're left with two options--go for another walk, or open those Cheetos you've been eyeing and watch another episode of Real Housewives.

Or you could be like me, and start pinning, Etsy-ing, Ebaying, and Googling everything in sight for the baby's room as soon as you're in your second trimester. Sure, it was a little early to start in on the planning, but man am I glad I didn't wait til the last minute! My husband and I knew we wanted to have a theme for McBaby's room, but didn't want to go super babyish with it. We decided that since he's going to be a Manhattan Beach baby, why not go with a surf/beach-inspired theme?!

For the paint, we decided on Sandbar by Sherwin-Williams-the perfect color. Unfortunately, the first color we picked ended up being a horrible puke buttercream shade, and my dutiful hubs had to redo the whole thing. But seriously, if you saw this color....it was like the shade of a 1970s doctor's office.

The artwork was also a big thing for us--we wanted everything to be cute, but not too babyish, which is why we ordered that cute ABC print from Etsy, along with the boyish nursery rhyme for above his bead. His awesome Aunt Gillian got him a surfboard height chart and Manhattan Beach print so he always knows his roots, and we also ordered the surfboard shelf and silhouette of our chihuahua Shirley--they're gonna be BFs for sure.

The chair is from our amazing aunt and uncle, who--BTW--also got us a Pottery Barn chair for our wedding! They literally have given us the nicest pieces of furni in our house! Also from PBK are the Kendall crib and dresser. I snagged that fab shag rug off of Gilt (still paid way too much for it), but made up for it with that Ikea bookshelf. The tinier "sling" shelf is from Amazon. And finally, the bike decal! I surprised my hubs with this little accent, and we thought it was the perfect little boyish addition. One last thing we're waiting on is the Moroccan "pouf" ottoman. I got mine off eBay for about a fourth of the price Serena and Lily was selling theirs for. And that's pretty much McBaby's room!

We're so happy with how it came out--it's super cozy, chill, and boyish without being too babyish. Now we just need the baby boy! I have to admit, I have been spending an awful lot of time in there just hanging out and daydreaming about what it's going to be like. Can't wait to spend all day/night in that awesome chair!

Labor Dreams!

Yahooo! Week 30 is here, which means if my little man is right on time, I've got 10 weeks left! I have this really weird feeling he's coming a little early though, but since this is my first pregnancy, I literally have nothing to base that assumption on. Yet again, I'm flabbergasted by how in-tune my body and subconscious mind are with my pregnancy progression--I hadn't thought much about the actual logistics of labor (besides the obvious), until I woke up in a cold sweat the other night as a result of my first....dun dun dun...labor dream.

Naturally, it was anything but normal--I already have an extremely ridiculous imagination in my dreams, and I'm one of those weirdos who actually remembers almost all of them. The dream was that I gave birth inside a grocery store. Pretty sick right? Thankfully though, I have no recollection of the butcher shop or seafood section being a part of the scenery, but I was pretty out in the open with other shoppers just going about their business. One of the strangest parts was that I couldn't feel anything--it was like I was subconsciously hoping everything with my epidural goes as planned with the real thing.

But nonetheless, sick things were happening! At one point, the nurse told me to push, which I did, and then she apparently handed my spleen over to my husband. Even in this bizarre dream state I knew that didn't seem right, but she assured me it was fine, and just needed to "roll it up so it wouldn't dry out." At another point in the dream I was informed that they were "ready to cut into my abdominal wall," prompting me to scream, "OMG am I having a C-section?!" They told me no, so fingers crossed that's foreshadowing (not the abdominal cutting part of course)!

This has been my one and only labor dream thus far. Most of my baby-related slumbers have been equally as weird though, like when my baby transformed into a dog right before my eyes. Or when the doctors handed my newborn over to me, it was actually a teeny tiny fawn that looked an awful lot like Bambi. Adorable, but no thanks.

In these last few weeks of pregnancy, I anticipate more labor dreams to infiltrate my sleeps. I can only hope that my constant urge to pee during the night will interrupt any nightmare situations I might conjure up subconsciously.

Wine Daydreamin'

Take a good look at that picture--especially if you're a good friend of mine, because that's what I expect to see in my hospital room as my first post-partum dinner. I'm not sure if it's normal to daydream quite this much about the things pregnant women have to give up, but I apparently talk about it enough to prompt my co-worker to say, "Bridge, you should write a blog post about it!" So here we are...

Almost every pregnant woman I talk to about the no-booze policy lies through her teeth and says "I really didn't mind it." Maybe it's because no one wants to look like a lushy wino, but I clearly have no shame, so I'll tell the truth. It sucks. The worst are weddings, parties, or other settings where everyone around you is letting loose, and you're the dork in the corner drinking another seltzer. But most of the time, I just miss the old days of having a glass of wine after work at the end of the day to unwind. Even though Arnold Palmers have become my new jam, they don't really cut it as a relaxant.

Another no-no that's really weighing on my last nerve is the no sushi situation. I'm a huge fish lover and eat it at least a couple times a week, and I seriously dream about a singular bite of the best rare ahi tuna dipped in soy sauce. Ironically, the last time I had sushi was the night of conception! Good planning huh?

Besides the obvious--wine, sushi, soft cheeses--there are a ton of beauty products/procedures I've had to give up too. And man, you can tell. I looked at my face this morning as I was brushing my teeth and said out loud, "You need a tune-up." First off, my eyelashes have returned to their original stump length since having to go off Latisse. Without my monthly chemical peels, my complexion has reverted back to a grayish- mother of pearl color. Which matches my new teeth color without the twice weekly Crest White Strips sessions. And finally, the deep ravines on my forehead are slowly returning as a result of my Botox wearing off. Wah to the max on that one.

What have a learned from this lesson in sacrifice? Well, A. I can do it, so that's a plus. But B. I have no intention of this becoming my new way of life. I fully intend on getting right back to all those poisons as soon as this baby comes out. And if you thought I was kidding about that sushi and wine spread, think again...

Knocked-Up Hypochondriac

I should have listened to my best friend when she said to burn the What To Expect When You're Expecting-type books. She has after all popped out four children in under 6 years, so she knows a thing or two about pregnancy. But after months of ignoring them on my bookshelf, they've been dusted off and are literally scaring me to death. You see, it all started the other day when I felt a new "pain" I hadn't experienced, and figured referencing one of my books was better than calling my doctor again--who, by the way--already thinks I'm a little nuts.

But the problem with those books is it always makes you think you're actually in labor, or that something is seriously wrong. I still haven't been able to figure out if the knifing pain in my nether regions really is these "Braxton Hicks" contractions, or if there's just a huge fart lodged in there wanting to come out. And I was pretty positive I had eclampsia one day after experiencing the world's worst heartburn ever, just to have my husband force two Tums down my throat....which worked wonders.

The third trimester serves up all kinds of fun little treats for the human body. In addition to gaining even more weight, it basically turns its back on you in this time of need, manifested by indigestion, farting, cramping, backaches, acne and the return of nausea. I thought heartburn was supposed to be brought on my acidic or spicy meals--wrong. Something as bland as toast causes me to now "throw-up burp," and most foods are making me downright sick to my stomach again. Note to self to ask for more Zofran.

The other main issue is the incessant back pain. Thankfully, I've been able to get pre-natal massages every other week under my insurance, but I honestly don't even know if it's working. It's like because I'm pregnant, I'm this delicate flower that the therapists don't want to touch. I literally beg them to push harder on my poor back, but they refuse in fear they'll hit one of those alleged pressure points that could send me into premature labor. So as a result, every night I bathe myself in Icy Hot as my poor husband tries to shield his nose hairs from being singed by the potent spearmint permeating the entire room.

Maybe it's my own fault for continuing a pretty hardcore exercise routine for a 7-months pregnant lady. But I just can't stop. I've been given no indication by my doctors to slow down or take it easy, and working out is literally the only outlet I have for stress-relief--that, and decorating the baby's room, a project in which I have much pride. (Pics to come soon!)

But despite each day becoming just a little more difficult than the last, I must take the time to show gratitude for having such a healthy pregnancy. I never knew how many problems could arise, and that I'd know so many women with them. I need to thank my lucky stars I don't have gestational diabetes, or haven't been sent to bedrest, or even worse, gone into premature labor. So even though I wish the remaining weeks of my pregnancy were over, I'm reminding myself that it's a small price to pay for the healthy baby I'll be delivering before I know it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience."

Is the US a 3rd World Country?

Everywhere you look there are pregnant women. On my flight the other day there were three of us knocked-up-Nellies; in my workout classes I'm not even the solo pregger. We're literally everywhere, yet I still feel the need to explain my current state in the work place.

Here I am, a 31-year-old woman living in Los Angeles, one of the most progressive cities in the U.S., and my pregnancy still has to be "explained" almost on a daily basis. I'd understand if I was 16 and knocked up by my boyfriend of the month with no after-school job, but I'm a married woman of completely acceptable age to have children. So why is it such a huge issue?!

For example, I'm a host of a show that airs online that covers Top 40 music news. This entire time, I've been hiding my pregnancy, which I think is downright backwards. If major news networks like Fox and ABC are cool with allowing their female anchors' baby bumps to show, then why wouldn't an internet company?! It's like censoring the most natural part of being a female--being able to procreate. Relatability to on-air personalities is one of the reasons viewers come back to certain channels, so in my eyes the more honest you are, the more people like you.

Another interesting little tidbit is maternity leave. Thankfully I live in California, which has pretty amazing laws in place for pregnant women compared to other states. But still, should I really be thanking my lucky stars for my 12 weeks unpaid leave when there are countries like Norway that require both the mother and father take an 86% paid-for leave (mother=56 weeks, father=12 weeks)???

Or take Slovenia, Denmark, Bulgaria and Lithuania, countries who all cover women's pay 100% for an entire year with job protection. Freaking Afghanistan gives new moms 90 days 100% paid leave for God's sake!

My good friend Joslyn forwarded me this picture today of an Italian woman named Licia Ronzulli, who was photographed at European Parliament with her seven-week old daughter swaddled close to her as she conducted business as usual, voting on proposals to improve women's employment, ironically.

It's such an empowering photo to look at as a pregnant woman, or any woman for that matter. Pregnancy should never have to be a secret when you're a responsible, age-appropriate, hardworking woman--anywhere in the world. So props to Licia for showing how it can be done.

What's In A Name?

I'm really happy with the fact that my husband and I decided not to share our baby name with anyone prior to his birth. A few close family members know at this point, but beyond the inner circle, no one has any clue what McBaby's name is, and it's pretty cool. Our decision was based not only on the obvious--avoiding people's stupid reactions to the fact that we weren't going with Jack, Noah or Aiden like everyone else in America right now--but also because picking this name literally took 2 years to do.

Yes, your math is correct--I've been looking at baby name books since before I was pregnant. It happened right when we returned from our honeymoon and I realized I suddenly had a ton of free time (ton=the 20 minutes prior to bedtime which was previously spent contacting wedding vendors, writing vows, creating seating assignments) to dedicate to a new hobby. So I purchased "100,000 Baby Names" from Barnes & Noble, and began highlighting.

This was basically a solo project until this past November, as my husband pretty much flat out refused to play the name game with me until we found out the sex. So yes, even when I was clearly pregnant and just didn't know the sex, he still wouldn't humor me. One time I forced him to tell me one name he liked, and he said "Mike." Mike the Baby. Rude. But I didn't really mind, since I wasn't even ready to commit to anything quite yet.

Once we finally found out we were having a baby boy, it became Game. On. My highlights were categorized by different colors which indicated the heirarchy of names on that given week. Slowly but surely 10 names were whittled down to 6, then to 3, and ultimately, THE name was chosen. I was the one who'd found it (obvi), and when I first presented it like I had so many other rejected monikers, my husband laughed at me. Usually when this happened, I shrugged and moved on. But something told me to be persistent with this one. So then I told him to really think about it, and try saying it out loud randomly throughout his day. And the next time I brought it up, he said he really actually liked it, and it was pretty "badass."

Besides two other names of the 80 I'd likely suggested, this was the only name he'd agreed to liking. Now, I know a lot of women who just name their babies whatever the hell they want because they're the ones acting as the human incubator for 9 months, so their husband's opinion doesn't really mean shit. But it was really important for me that my husband and I jointly pick a name. Obviously I'm pretty emo when it comes to the subject matter, and I just think a name is such an important part of a person's identity. We all take such pride in our names, and it's one of the most personal traits about a human being--which is why it's so ironic that you get your name from someone else. That's why I feel so strongly about this subject.

I cannot for the life of me understand why people name their kids trendy names. Unless it's a family name that you've always known you've wanted to pass along, it seems rude to me. For example, I've always loved the name Gavin--but would I name my child that knowing that it's the 37th most popular baby name in U.S. right now? NO!

Frankly, I could care less if people hate the name I've giving to my first child. The fact of the matter is, it took years to decide on, hours of conversation, listing of pros and cons, weighing against alternate names, and we feel like it's just the coolest, most bad-ass, precious, unique, classy, and perfect name for our little guy. Can't wait for the world to meet him.

Third Tri Baby!

It's offish! I'm finally in my third trimester! Let the emotional eating and unexplained crying begin! From what I hear, this last little wedge of the pie is the most interesting of the bunch. Although, seriously I'd like to see anything come close to competing with my first trimester. Nevertheless, it seems my body received the memo that I had entered into the final round right on time.

I dusted off those baby books I hadn't laid eyes on in weeks, only to read about such joys as leg cramps, swollen feet, frequent urination, and yep, the return of exhaustion. Not to mention the fact that your baby is basically doubling in size on a weekly basis at this point.

So to kickstart the Third-Tri celebration, I went to my doctor for my glucose exam, which tests for gestational diabetes. Why they wait til the very end to determine this is beyond me. They make you drink this foul orange cocktail that tastes like flat Orange Crush mixed with 5 extra Kool-Aid packets, and you're forced to down it in a 5-minute span. Obvi, you can't drink or eat anything until after they've taken your blood an hour later, so this nasty orange crap is just floating around your stomach in the meantime--which is why I wasn't surprised when McBaby delivered me a series of rib kicks upon digesting it. He then thanked me with far gentler bladder elbowing after I gifted him with a jalapeno bagel smothered in cream cheese following my blood work. I seriously scarfed it right there during my appointment as my doctor checked the heart beat.

Another funny thing happened during that appointment--she started asking me all these questions she assumed I'd have answers too--like "Have you decided on a pediatrician" and "Are you pre-registered at the hospital yet." Needless to say, I need to stop re-reading The Hunger Games before bed, and get back to my pregger books--apparently they all suggested I have those tasks completed by now, including our enrollment in birthing classes, which was another cream cheese-mouthed "NOPE" from me.

But relax--it's not like I'm disorganized. I just kind of forgot how far along I am, and got all of those things taken care of in an hour! Plus, I've been concentrating on the important things, like his 0-3 month couture wardrobe, ordering all the Etsy artwork for his room, and working out to make sure I don't turn into Jessica Simpson.

Things are starting to get REAL up in here, and I can't believe this is the homestretch. Here's a pic of me at my east coast shower that was quite possibly the cutest theme of all time, thanks to my amazing family--Bridget Is Ready To Pop. Everything was pop-themed: soda pop, cake pops, jalapeno poppers, and even homemade poptarts! So lucky to have such cool and creative peeps for family.

So This Is What It's Like To Be Fat

I know I keep exclaiming that I cannot believe how huge I am, but seriously, I cannot believe how huge I am. People keep trying to tell me I'm such a tiny pregnant woman (except my mom who refers to me as "real big"), but I feel like an elephant. Doing the most mundane tasks now have become difficult. Like, say, putting on my shoes.

I now grunt when performing most daily activities like getting up and down from the couch, rolling over on the bed, and even getting into the shower--which brings me to another topic no one felt necessary to warn me about--grooming. Now, I decided to get laser hair removal a little too late in the game. I got pregnant about halfway through my 10-pack of sessions, which was just a "hair" short on the growth pattern if you know what I mean. I always envisioned impressing the doctors and nurses at the hospital with my fresh pedicure and a hoo-ha that looked like it belonged to an infant, but alas, I'll be one of the legions of women doing a hack job on my vajayjay while timing out my contractions upon going into labor. And let me tell you, the upkeep aint fun with a hard as concrete huge belly in the way. Last night, my husband actually asked me if he could "help." Imagine?!

He also reminded me that I'm going to get a lot bigger, as did several women at my east coast baby shower. They started laughing at me when I claimed to be bigger than a house, reminding me that my feet haven't even begun to swell yet, and my "face isn't even pregnant yet." Sigh...I still don't get why anyone "loves" being pregnant. I just can't wait to be done with this, so that A. my baby is here, and B. I can have my body back! It just seems like everything is going to be way cooler once April is here. So let the countdown begin!