When you're pregnant and it's the weekend, there's only so much one can do. In the beginning, before you start assuming the shape of Humpty Dumpty, you can still carry on like normal--go on hikes, runs, bike rides, and even put on a bathing suit and lay out if it's the right time of year. Most of those activities start becoming a little too difficult--and in some pregnancies dangerous, and you're left with two options--go for another walk, or open those Cheetos you've been eyeing and watch another episode of Real Housewives.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Baby's Room!
When you're pregnant and it's the weekend, there's only so much one can do. In the beginning, before you start assuming the shape of Humpty Dumpty, you can still carry on like normal--go on hikes, runs, bike rides, and even put on a bathing suit and lay out if it's the right time of year. Most of those activities start becoming a little too difficult--and in some pregnancies dangerous, and you're left with two options--go for another walk, or open those Cheetos you've been eyeing and watch another episode of Real Housewives.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Labor Dreams!
Yahooo! Week 30 is here, which means if my little man is right on time, I've got 10 weeks left! I have this really weird feeling he's coming a little early though, but since this is my first pregnancy, I literally have nothing to base that assumption on. Yet again, I'm flabbergasted by how in-tune my body and subconscious mind are with my pregnancy progression--I hadn't thought much about the actual logistics of labor (besides the obvious), until I woke up in a cold sweat the other night as a result of my first....dun dun dun...labor dream.
Naturally, it was anything but normal--I already have an extremely ridiculous imagination in my dreams, and I'm one of those weirdos who actually remembers almost all of them. The dream was that I gave birth inside a grocery store. Pretty sick right? Thankfully though, I have no recollection of the butcher shop or seafood section being a part of the scenery, but I was pretty out in the open with other shoppers just going about their business. One of the strangest parts was that I couldn't feel anything--it was like I was subconsciously hoping everything with my epidural goes as planned with the real thing.
But nonetheless, sick things were happening! At one point, the nurse told me to push, which I did, and then she apparently handed my spleen over to my husband. Even in this bizarre dream state I knew that didn't seem right, but she assured me it was fine, and just needed to "roll it up so it wouldn't dry out." At another point in the dream I was informed that they were "ready to cut into my abdominal wall," prompting me to scream, "OMG am I having a C-section?!" They told me no, so fingers crossed that's foreshadowing (not the abdominal cutting part of course)!
This has been my one and only labor dream thus far. Most of my baby-related slumbers have been equally as weird though, like when my baby transformed into a dog right before my eyes. Or when the doctors handed my newborn over to me, it was actually a teeny tiny fawn that looked an awful lot like Bambi. Adorable, but no thanks.
In these last few weeks of pregnancy, I anticipate more labor dreams to infiltrate my sleeps. I can only hope that my constant urge to pee during the night will interrupt any nightmare situations I might conjure up subconsciously.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Wine Daydreamin'
Take a good look at that picture--especially if you're a good friend of mine, because that's what I expect to see in my hospital room as my first post-partum dinner. I'm not sure if it's normal to daydream quite this much about the things pregnant women have to give up, but I apparently talk about it enough to prompt my co-worker to say, "Bridge, you should write a blog post about it!" So here we are...
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Knocked-Up Hypochondriac
I should have listened to my best friend when she said to burn the What To Expect When You're Expecting-type books. She has after all popped out four children in under 6 years, so she knows a thing or two about pregnancy. But after months of ignoring them on my bookshelf, they've been dusted off and are literally scaring me to death. You see, it all started the other day when I felt a new "pain" I hadn't experienced, and figured referencing one of my books was better than calling my doctor again--who, by the way--already thinks I'm a little nuts.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Is the US a 3rd World Country?
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
What's In A Name?
I'm really happy with the fact that my husband and I decided not to share our baby name with anyone prior to his birth. A few close family members know at this point, but beyond the inner circle, no one has any clue what McBaby's name is, and it's pretty cool. Our decision was based not only on the obvious--avoiding people's stupid reactions to the fact that we weren't going with Jack, Noah or Aiden like everyone else in America right now--but also because picking this name literally took 2 years to do.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Third Tri Baby!
It's offish! I'm finally in my third trimester! Let the emotional eating and unexplained crying begin! From what I hear, this last little wedge of the pie is the most interesting of the bunch. Although, seriously I'd like to see anything come close to competing with my first trimester. Nevertheless, it seems my body received the memo that I had entered into the final round right on time.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
So This Is What It's Like To Be Fat
I know I keep exclaiming that I cannot believe how huge I am, but seriously, I cannot believe how huge I am. People keep trying to tell me I'm such a tiny pregnant woman (except my mom who refers to me as "real big"), but I feel like an elephant. Doing the most mundane tasks now have become difficult. Like, say, putting on my shoes.
I now grunt when performing most daily activities like getting up and down from the couch, rolling over on the bed, and even getting into the shower--which brings me to another topic no one felt necessary to warn me about--grooming. Now, I decided to get laser hair removal a little too late in the game. I got pregnant about halfway through my 10-pack of sessions, which was just a "hair" short on the growth pattern if you know what I mean. I always envisioned impressing the doctors and nurses at the hospital with my fresh pedicure and a hoo-ha that looked like it belonged to an infant, but alas, I'll be one of the legions of women doing a hack job on my vajayjay while timing out my contractions upon going into labor. And let me tell you, the upkeep aint fun with a hard as concrete huge belly in the way. Last night, my husband actually asked me if he could "help." Imagine?!
He also reminded me that I'm going to get a lot bigger, as did several women at my east coast baby shower. They started laughing at me when I claimed to be bigger than a house, reminding me that my feet haven't even begun to swell yet, and my "face isn't even pregnant yet." Sigh...I still don't get why anyone "loves" being pregnant. I just can't wait to be done with this, so that A. my baby is here, and B. I can have my body back! It just seems like everything is going to be way cooler once April is here. So let the countdown begin!